Sunday, April 02, 2006
Hey Baby!
Know what I wish? I wish I'd stop dreaming about babies. I don't want a baby and don't even get me started on how annoying it is to have people tell me I simply MUST have a child to be complete as a woman.

But I digress. I blame the recent baby dreams on the fact that one of my best friends has recently had a baby and I have been spending a lot of time with him as I do, in fact, enjoy babies. All this baby time has obviously been seeping into my subconscious mind...

As I mentioned, I am not interested in bearing or raising children, so when I have baby dreams I get a little freaked out. The first dream involved me finding out that I was pregnant by a friend of mine that I've known since highschool. I spent the whole dream trying to fogure out just how this had happened and what my mother would say when she found out the father was black. hahaha.... I wrote my friend the next morning and we were both rather amused.

In a far more bizarre dream I was was walking around with a baby, probably about 6 months old judging from it's rather large roly-poly size, as it nursed away at my left breast, under my shirt. I walking around feeding this baby as if this was perfectly normal and nobody seemed to wonder what was going on under my shirt.

As I walked around I wondered what I was going to do about this baby since I never really wanted a child (seems it would be a little too late for this kind of questioning, but this IS a dream afterall). Finally I decided I had better at least tell my mom because I couldn't hide this forever. I met my mother at some outdoor cafe and pulled the fat pudgy little baby out from under my shirt and handed him to my mother. I said "Mom, I'd like you to meet.... your grandson". She actually didn't seem at all shocked, just pleasant as if introducing her to a boyfriend of mine for the first time. No questions as to how long or why I had been hiding him. He was beautiful and happy, and what hair he had was blonde.... and he was blue eyed. (Hm. Sounds exactly like me as a baby, actually...)

As I handed him over to my mom I panicked as I realized that I hadn't named him yet. I guess denial had me putting off this all important detail. Then his name suddenly came to me.... Benjamin William (after my mom's grandfather and father, respectively). She smiled and commented on what wonderful names they were.

I woke up.